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March 5, 2012
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Saigusa Haruka by yanderyou Saigusa Haruka by yanderyou
reeeelly liking the way this one turned out. There are a couple more characters to draw after this, but of course they're the ones who are giving me the most trouble. ^^'
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:iconmissleepify:
Missleepify Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Hi, again sorry for the late response! Anyhow, here's my critique:

First thing that strucked me when seeing this is "Yay, someone who actually shaded her manga! AND in black&white!"
The most common form of manga i've seen on this page, that isn't chapers of a comic that is, is very colorful and often shaded very simple. It can turn out very nice, but since it's so common, it easily get's boring.
However, i do find it to be a little plain. The strokes looks random and a little sloppy, which looks good on her thights but not so good on her face, if you look at her chin there's black lines smothered very close to her mouth which doesn't look so good. Also, her expression is VERY plain. This is also something common among manga characters, their faces isn't expressing anything. A lot of people who draws manga ignore this, and claims it's a part of the style, but even if it is it doesn't look very good.
It's still possible to draw a face with an expression while drawing manga. Just study people's faces, and learn that a smile isn't only visible through a happy mouth, but the eyes as well. A good thumb rule for this is that when a face looks too much like the :-D smiley, you need to bring some realism to it :)

I think this is enough, sorry if it's too long or complicated, i'm more than happy to answer any questions if it was confusing ^^; Again, to sum up, try to think about cleaning up your lines a little and make them more controlled, and think about your expressions. Avoid the :-D smiley! :D
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:iconyanderyou:
yanderyou Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student General Artist
Yeah, the neater lines thing is something my art teacher has been telling me, too. And as for the expression, well, that's another thing I've been trying to improve upon.

I actually appreciate the long comment, and I didn't find it confusing. I'll take that into consideration! :)
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:iconmissleepify:
Missleepify Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Try to ink the lines you want to keep, that way you can erase the pencil lines that's not needed without harming the "good" ones :D It also makes your drawing a lot cleaner :)

This is a wonderful tutorial about expressions, if you have a free minute or two: [link]
That part focus on expressions, but the whole series is really worth taking a look at :)

I'm glad it was helpful!
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:icondrawingpixie:
DrawingPixie Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you are sooo talented. but, if I may ask, where are her arms? lol but anyways, i love it XD
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:iconyanderyou:
yanderyou Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Her arms...? They're behind her head, lol.And thank you!
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:icondrawingpixie:
DrawingPixie Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
coool. and how did that day on (your journal). i hope you are feeling better. :hug: how is high school treating you?
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:iconyanderyou:
yanderyou Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2012  Student General Artist
I pretty much did nothing, so it was relaxing. But I also babysat and got $40, so, yay and stuff. And high school is alright.
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:icondrawingpixie:
DrawingPixie Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
is Stephanie's boyfriend treating her well?! *giggle*
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:iconyanderyou:
yanderyou Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Student General Artist
I honestly haven't heard much about him lately, but I would assume yes.
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:icondrawingpixie:
DrawingPixie Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
good to hear. and how is jake g. ?
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